Abuse

(11k)

I don’t know why I think anything is funny, but I enjoy abusing nameless cartoon characters through mean-spirited jump-cuts. I guess it’s just me.

Bot Designation 001


I needed to draw a robot… It’s some kind of emotional addiction that I developed as a small child, when I would draw these epic tales of robots blowing other robots up. It was truly epic stuff. A much better drawing than this formed in my notebook during a meeting this morning, but of course that’s relative.

I still don’t understand how I can live in one of the most enlightened cities in the world, yet I don’t get the Cartoon Network on Basic Cable. I miss Mister Thundercleese the most. There is an emptiness at the core of my being that thrives from his absense.

Image of the Day: Club Golabutron

(29k)

Hey Stop! Read the comic first! Then skip the rant below!

I must be the most naive dweeb in the world. I read in my KQED magazine a couple weeks ago that HMOs are actually trying to purchase Club Card data from Safeway and other stores… and I was almost surprised! I knew it was a possibility, but I always thought that it was too evil, even for an insurance company to try. And I should have known better, being the son of an insurance agent.

Insurance companies hate one thing above all else: people who will actually file a claim some day. Their perfect business model is to have a huge pool of customers paying premiums for insurance they’ll never need because they represent the peak of human perfection.

There is a solid argument that club card data can be correlated to health risk. It can hint at “high-risk” behaviors like heavy drinking, smoking, junk food binging, etc. Never mind all of the reasons why this data proves nothing… if there is a statistical correlation it will be used.

Club cards are scary all around, but usually not in ways that can affect your life as much as this HMO business. Usually it just means you get more junk mail, and eventually your shopping cart will bug you when it’s time to swap the sour milk at the back of the fridge for a fresh carton. I can live with all of that because it doesn’t cost me. It does bug me that before long, the only way anybody will be able to afford food is to sign up for one of these things. Luckily, good ol’ laissez faire will someday lead to the mind-boggling innovation of clubless grocery stores, where the prices are low for everybody who comes in and wants to spend money there. I can’t wait…

For now, of course, the only solution is to subvert the system as much as possible. Use fake names, or avoid using the cards for as long as that is an option. But I would argue against trading cards with a friend, lest you pay for their bad habits later on.

Anyway, rant terminated.

Image of the Day: Golabuslacker

(23k)

It’s been a while since I did anything with this weblog’s namesake, and this just seemed like something fun to draw at a time when inspiration is running kinda dry. I used a mechanical pencil and some felt-tip pens (and a sheet of paper!). And I have to say that the Sharpie is the greatest pen ever created. And that’s not just the fumes talking!

Image of the Day: “Random Chick #3″

(63k)

More random goodness. The woman is imaginary, but I own one of the Ty plush Godzillas that her companion is based on.

I drew this while watching the first disk of Babylon 5′s new Season One boxed set. I was underwhelmed when B5 first aired, but when the 5-year arc started to kick in, I was hooked. It’s still one of my favorite TV shows of all time. I’m enjoying Season One, but I’m really biding my time until the Season Two set comes out early next year. Bruce Boxleitner rocks!

I wish I could update this site more often, but my daily life is rather on the exhausting side these days. Pity me!

Image of the Day: Jack-O-Lantern 2002

One of my roommates and I had a pumpkin-carving party on Sunday. This is my contribution. Kathleen said all of my Jack-O-Lanterns look like they have deep concerns for the future. Is this another one of those “sometimes a jack-o-lantern is just a jack-o-lantern” moments?

The photo was stolen and cropped from Pat’s collection. Go check it out and bring his DSL to its knees!

Image of the Day: Don’t Ask

(58k)

Yet another pencil sketch. The instinct to hit “UNDO” is burned in now, thanks to all the time using the Wacom tablet. Man, I’m such a slob!

Image of the Day: Bad Art

More bad art! That old chestnut, the disembodied brain in a cyborg body! My classroom notes were coated with these things. I skipped using the Wacom, and drew this with a very modern mechanical pencil while watching the third Andromeda DVD. Here goes my last shred of geek cred, but I’m starting to really like that show. The episode where the captain makes contact with his old girlfriend from 300 years in the future has won me over. It’s cheesy sci-fi time-travelling melodrama at its best. And to think I have four whole seasons to go before I’m caught up!

IMAGE OF THE DAY: GNOME

I just needed to draw something tonight because it’s been so long. I don’t have much to say other than 1) Rush job, 2) I like Gnomes, and 3) if this one had a caption it would be “Is it safe to come out yet?” I just had kind of a trying week.

BTW, OWNZORED is ongoing, but I think I’ve got it under as much control as I’m going to for now. I’m not as freaked out as I was last week, at least.

Ownzored Part 5

And it goes on and on and on…

Update. Identity thief has also started up a second Sprint PCS account in my name with two phones… which I discovered when I got the bill. This is in addition to the phone they already tried to add to my pre-existing Sprint PCS account. I was able to call them up and kill it with no charge to myself, but they’ve had the phones since Oct. 4th.

I also got a “Welcome” package from Citibank for a new banking account that somebody tried to set up in my name. This is scaring me, since they always ask for Mother’s maiden name for that kind of stuff. I’m sure it’s a matter of public record, but I can’t think of any way I leaked it. As you might guess, my faith in this whole system is not as sound as it might have been before last week. Of course, I axed the bogus Citibank bank account too. I might axe the credit card account completely, though pretty soon I won’t be able to start new accounts anywhere for a while.

I think I know where I screwed up. Last month I put a voter registration form, change of address form, and a bunch of bill payments in the outgoing mailbox at my job. That mail was basically a complete set of every piece of information you would need to impersonate me, minus my Mother’s maiden name.

Yes, I realize how incredibly stupid this was of me. I mean, who am I to think I can trust the people I work with or the mail carriers not to intercept my mail and write down all of my juicy personal info!? Needless to say, I’m switching to the Blue boxes from now on, at least until I’m shown how stupid and insecure that is too… then I’m going to be training passenger pidgeons.

Thanks to Dale, I had some good resources to look into what to do next. Bright and early on Monday, I’m going to be flagging my info at the three big credit agencies as being haxored. It’ll get in my way for a while, but I can live with that. I need to make myself an inconvenient target.

I also filed a police report today, though I don’t know if it will do any good. Citibank will probably do most of the work, once they send me the affidavit to fill out with the list of bogus charges. $3000 is not chump change… (to me, anyway). I’m sure they’ll have a good fighting spirit. Sprint can’t be very happy either, since the perp basically got two working cell phones for a week on their dime.

Not that I think they’ll get caught. I only hope they’re done with me, now that I’m paying attention. There are millions more suckers just like me out there.

What weirds me out is how all this stuff keeps coming to my house. That isn’t very clandestine. I was able to kill the Citibank bank account before anybody was able to use it (I think). I was able to reverse a phone shipment… I was able to kill the iBook order. I wonder what the deal is.. is this all a smokescreen to keep me busy while somebody frames me for something big? Or is this just somebody throwing out everything they can to see what they can make stick? What am I going to find in my mailbox on Monday?

All of these charges and bogus accounts so far were basically made at about the same time, so I hope this thing blows over soon. Every day I get something new in the mail, and every day I have to cancel another bogus account or fill out another report.

I’ve been asked a few times if I think this is something personal against me, and so far I don’t think so. I may not be the most loveable guy on the planet, but I’m not aware of any actual enemies. But I do worry that if this person is taken in for this that I might have earned an enemy. I don’t know if my next move is supposed to be moving out of town.

This big cloud of question marks is killing me.