Golabutron 3000
The Bastich
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Late Again (Remake)

Originally published on Wednesday, September 20, 1995 in CSU Chico's The Orion student newspaper. View Archive Page.

Commentary

The last of the web comics to be recycled for publication in the Orion. By this point, I was definitely backing off from having Bastich be actively sociopathic (as opposed to just generally antisocial/awkward/weird) so I shifted the violent "joke" to a TV show starring Chunky & Jorky, two old characters I had been drawing since high school. I thought I would use these guys more as part of the Bastich landscape, but this was pretty much it.

Transcript

TITLE The Bastich By Hart

PANEL 1 (Over-the-shoulder view of Bastich as he sits on a couch watching a show called "Chunky & Jorky" on a television) CAPTION: Meanwhile... TV: It's the Chunky & Jorky Show! BASTICH: Allright!

PANEL 2 (Focus switches to the TV show. Two characters are sitting at adjacent school desks: Jorky, a giant furry head with stick-figure arms and legs, and Chunky, who looks like a wooden marionette without strings.) JORKY: Chunky! You're late for class again, I see! CHUNKY: Shaddup, Jorky! I really tried this time!

PANEL 3 (Chunky is speaking with his hand out) CHUNKY: I even went so far as to set my alarm clock ahead five minutes so I'd get here early... But then my roommate, Mr. "All-Clocks-On-The-Premises-Must-Be-Synced-With-The-Bell-Tower," switched it back without telling me! So I overslept...

PANEL 4 (Jorky is speaking with his hand up) JORKY: That's too bad, man! But it doesn't explain why you're TEN minutes late! What happened to those other five minutes?

PANEL 5 (Chunky scratches his head) CHUNKY: TEN minutes..? REALLY..? Let me se...

PANEL 6 (Chunky lifts up a dismembered arm and looks at a watch on the arm's wrist.) CHUNKY: Hey, you're right! I wonder, where did all the time go?

PANEL 7 (Focus shifts back to Bastich sitting on the couch and excitedly pointing at the television) BASTICH: HA! This show has friendship, drama... temporal and mathematical humor... and of course... VIOLENCE! Everything a growing boy needs! Except, no Counselor Troi.

CREDITS CAPTION: "Please Recycle all of your jokes." Bastich (c) 1995 Joshua Adam Hart