TITLE The Bastich By Hart
PANEL 1 (BASTICH trips on a rock while carrying a bag of groceries, causing some cans to fly out.) BASTICH: Whoop--! SFX: TRIP!
PANEL 2 (A CHERUB in the form of a winged baby with a halo flies through the sky holding a bow and arrow.)
PANEL 3 (The CHERUB is hit by one of BASTICH'S flying cans.) SFX: TWAP!
PANEL 4 (BASTICH and HACKER-LAD look on as the CHERUB lands on the ground in front of them.) SFX: THUD HACKER-LAD: Hey, what was THAT!? BASTICH: Looks like a CUPID!
PANEL 5 (BASTICH and HACKER-LAD speak to each other.) HACKER-LAD: Funny, it being VALENTINE'S DAY and all! BASTICH: Uh-oh you know what THIS means... HACKER-LAD: Cherub Stew? BASTICH: No, fool!
PANEL 6 (BASTICH holds the CHERUB's bow and arrow while facing HACKER-LAD.) BASTICH: We have to replace him now, and carry on his work! HACKER-LAD: Why? BASTICH: Didn't you ever see "The Santa Clause?" This works on the same principle!
PANEL 7 (In front of a heart backdrop, a female STAR TREK fan with Vulcan ears holds hands with male BABYLON 5 fan with a Centauri hairstyle.) CAPTION: And so..
PANEL 8 (Two hands embrace in front of back-to-back MACINTOSH and IBM computers with hearts floating over their CRT monitors.)
PANEL 9 (Some guy is gazing lovingly at a pet rock in his palm.)
PANEL 10 (BARNEY THE DINOSAUR waves his arms as he is pelted with eggs.) BARNEY: HEY!
PANEL 11 (BASTICH holds the CHERUB'S arrow inside a heart-shaped cutout.) BASTICH: Nothing like a good day's work! CAPTION: Happy V-Day From the Freak of Love
CREDITS (c) 1996 Joshua Adam Hart
Commentary
And now for the obligatory Valentine's Day strip. The "Cupid" follows all of the usual tropes, and the strip freely admits to lifting the idea from The Santa Clause.
Given his new power to wage love, Bastich promptly goes about resolving the biggest conflicts of the times, such as Babylon 5 vs Star Trek and Mac vs PC. I'm not sure if the guy with the Pet Rock needed any help, and poor Barney the Dinosaur apparently was apparently spared an arrow.