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The Bastich
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The Campaign: Trek-Con '96

Originally published on Wednesday, March 6, 1996 in CSU Chico's The Orion student newspaper. View Archive Page.

Transcript

TITLE The Bastich By Hart

PANEL 1 (BASTICH addresses a crowd of Star Trek fans from behind a podium at a Star Trek convention. The podium has a sign that reads BASTICH FOR PRESIDENT. A large banner is draped behind him that reads TREK-CON.) BASTICH: This date next year, if I'm elected, will be known as National Klingon Awareness Day...

PANEL 2 (Close-up on BASTICH as he waves his fist in the air.) BASTICH: In addition, I will push Congress to make access to the Sci-Fi Channel a Constitutional Right!

PANEL 3 (BASTICH continues to address the crowd as they cheer him on.) BASTICH: ...so, as you can see , as President I will stand on a Pro-Trekker platform... So when it comes time to fil out your ballots, think of the Future... Think Bastich! Make it so! CROWD: Yay!

PANEL 4 (After the speech, FAITH and BASTICH are speaking. Behind them is a banner that reads "TREK-CON 96: WHERE NO CON HAS GONE BEFORE".) FAITH: That went over pretty well. BASTICH: Yeah, I guess so... But somethings missing...

PANEL 5 (Close-up on Bastich speaking. Behind him is a vendor booth with a model of the original USS Enterprise, some books, and coffee mugs shaped like the heads of Spock and Geordi la Forge.) BASTICH: This hand-kissing and baby shaking thing is taking too long. I need to streamline my approach if I'm going to get enough support to get enough support to win this thing!

PANEL 6 (Later, in front of a sign that reads "BASTICH OPINION AUCTION," BASTICH waves a gavel in front of a crowd of bidders holding up "PRO" and "CON" cards.) CAPTION: Later... BASTICH: ...and the welfare opinion is SOLD to the shady gentleman on the left... This is almost too easy!

CREDITS (c) 1996 Joshua Adam Hart