Golabutron 3000
The Bastich
Index

The Campaign: Media

Originally published on Wednesday, March 20, 1996 in CSU Chico's The Orion student newspaper. View Archive Page.

Transcript

TITLE The Bastich By Hart

PANEL 1 (BASTICH angrily waves newspapers in his hands.) BASTICH: You know, I've been running this campaign for several weeks now, and I've gotten absolutely no press coverage. It's not fair!

PANEL 2 (FAITH holds out her hand as she responds to BASTICH.) FAITH: That's what you get for running your campaign on the "Information Super Highway," 'Stich. Half of the people you're polling aren't even old enough to vote...

PANEL 3 (HACKER-LAD speaks while waving a lit cigarette in the air.) HACKER-LAD: Yeah, and half of the rest aren't U.S. citizens and couldn't care less if you win or lose (unless the downfall of the nation is somewhere on their wishlists].

PANEL 4 (BASTICH pensively leans his chin on his hand.) BASTICH: Yeah, I guess you're right. Maybe I should do more campaigning in the "real world." Maybe then I'd catch myself some media attention!

PANEL 5 (FAITH hands BASTICH a tabloid titled MIDNIGHT ENQUIRER.) FAITH: Well, it's not as if the media has been totally ignoring you, 'Stich. Take a look at this... BASTICH: Eh..?

PANEL 6 (HACKER-LAD stands behind BASTICH as he reads the tabloid. The back cover reads "NAZI POTATOES".) HACKER-LAD: "Presidential Hopeful, Bastich, found in lurid tryst with allen slime queen Petra"..? That's ridiculous.. BASTICH: Yeah, she wont even return my calls..!

CREDITS (c) 1996 Joshua Adam Hart