TITLE The Bastich By Hart
PANEL 1 (BASTICH addresses a crowd from behind a podium.) BASTICH: Attention everyone: Due to the lack of voter- support at yesterday's primary, I am saddened to announce my official resignation from the presidential campaign.
PANEL 2 (Wide shot of BASTICH addressing the crowd. The sign on the podium reads "STICH FOR PREZ - NO MORE". A HECKLER in the crowd raises his hand.) HECKLER: You mean you were actually running? BASTICH: Hey wise guy, this is hard enough without your smart-ass remarks!
PANEL 3 (Close up of the HECKLER in the crowd.) HECKLER: Don't get all ticked at me, buddy. You weren't even on the ballot, so how were we supposed to vote for you? BASTICH: Not on the ballot, eh..?
PANEL 4 (HACKER-LAD and FAITH look on with guilty expressions.) HACKER-LAD: Uh...I thought Faith was supposed to fill out the paperwork... FAITH: Wait a minute! That was your job, HL! HACKER-LAD: Oops.
PANEL 5 (FAITH speaks to BASTICH.) FAITH: Look on the bright side, 'Stich! Even though you weren't on the ballot, you managed to get a number of write in votes anyway... BASTICH: Hmm...from WHERE, I wonder...
PANEL 6 (Screenshot of an IRC chat session logged into channel #HotChest as user @NrD.) CAPTION: Meanwhile, over on IRC... TECHNOGOD: Gee, I hope Bastich wins the election. He promised he-d get me a girlfriend if I voted for him. SPOCKLAD: Yeah, I was going to vote, but I couldn't find a way to do it online, so I passed. SHREDMASTER: Ah, Democracy in action! PHOENIX: HEY, Doodz!! Where are all the CHICKS??!!!?? CAPTION: THE END..!
CREDITS (c) 1996 Joshua Adam Hart
Commentary
And so we mercifully bring this politics thread to a close with a quick sweep under the rug. Six chapters seemed like plenty for the limited amount I had to say on the topic. The real-world 1996 U.S. Presidential campaign would continue for another 10 months or so, with [SPOILER ALERT] Bill Clinton handily winning re-election over Ross Perot and Bob Dole.
The heckler in panel 2 is based on the same childhood friend who appeared back in ECT Party
And I couldn't close this out without at least one more jab at IRC culture.