TITLE The Bastich By Hart
PANEL 1 (Standard image of BASTICH greeting the reader.) CAPTION: Welcome to the World of THE BASTICH ARROW: (that's this guy) BASTICH: I'm FUNKY FRESH!
PANEL 2 (Eight labeled circular inset panels) CAPTION: Also Featuring:
INSET 1 (Mugshot of FAITH) CAPTION: Faith
INSET 2 (Mugshot of HACKER-LAD) CAPTION: Hacker-Lad
INSET 3 (Image of three comic book long boxes.) CAPTION: COMICS--!
INSET 4 (Mugshot of EL-KRAHN) CAPTION: Future-Guy
INSET 5 (Mustached pointy-eared STAR TREK fan raising his right hand up in a Vulcan salute and reaching his left hand down for a Vulcan neck pinch to the BABYLON 5 fan in the inset below.) CAPTION: TREKKIES
INSET 6 (BABYLON 5 fan in Centauri headdress and looking suspiciously up toward the STAR TREK fan above.) CAPTION: Babylon 5 Fans
INSET 7 (A blender with striped cloth hanging from its lid next to two smoothie glasses.) CAPTION: Special Guests: Bananas in Pajamas!
INSET 8 (BASTICH addresses the reader) BASTICH: Hi there, folks..! Normally, this strip would involve some kind of goofy NERD HUMOR... But this week I'd like to try a more credible approach.
PANEL 3 (BASTICH as a news anchor. Over his shoulder is a bar graph with horizontal bars labeled BILL, BOB and ROSS. BILL is slightly ahead of BOB and ROSS is by far the shortest.) VOICEOVER: Good Evening, and welcome to BASTICH HEADLINE NEWS BASTICH: In politics this week: Presidential Candidate Bob Dole gains popularity in the polls.
PANEL 4 (BASTICH waves his fist indignantly.) BASTICH: Now I understand Mr. Dole's need to be liked, but why we should care what a bunch of penguins and big white bears think is beyond me. And that big fat guy who always wears that red coat and is suspected to have broken into millions of homes last winter... that man shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets, much less have a say in who get elected here in the states.
PANEL 5 (HACKER-LAD whispers into BASTICH's ear from the side.) HACKER-LAD: Psst-! 'Stich... BASTICH: Huh..? Ah... Oops. That's it for now folks. Come back next week for a healthy dose of goofy nerd humor!
CREDITS (c) 1996 Joshua Adam Hart
Commentary
Whew - This strip was a challenge to transcribe thanks to all of the insets. Nobody asked for this so I have only myself to blame.
And now we enter another school year! As before, this is an introduction to establish the main cast and set the tone for the semester with a quick gag. The 1996 Presidential campaign was still in full swing so this counted as topical humor, as well a preview of the dumb dad jokes that would become my parental duty years later.
The comic book long boxes should be familiar to comics fans everywhere. I still have way too many of these things. The labels are frighteningly spaced out: If these three are labeled "MAP", "MAQ", and "MAR", then there must be hundreds labeled "XME".
Of course, I had to take a jab at my own nerd fandoms with the Star Trek fan neck-pinching the Babylon 5 fan. To this day, there is a bit of a rift between the two fandoms, especially regarding Deep Space Nine. For what it's worth, I don't know how much DS9 was a response to the original B5 pitch (or ripped off, as some would say) but it doesn't really matter because the end result was two great shows executed with distinct visions. Both are among my all-time favorites.
Also, to be clear, I have no animosity toward Bananas in Pyjamas, and cannot defend this uncalled-for attack on them, no matter how delicious the outcome.