TITLE The Bastich By Hart
PANEL 1 (Bastich eagerly raises a pair of scissors over a pillow.) BASTICH: Ah, yes... a new pillow. It's time to locate the tag and perform the act of a true rebel.
PANEL 2 (Close up on the tag, which reads "UNDER PENALTY OF LAW THIS TAG NOT TO BE REMOVED EXCEPT BY THE CONSUMER") BASTICH: What's this..? Is nothing sacred?!
PANEL 3 (Two COPS kick down the front door, aiming their guns at BASTICH who gasps in surprise.) COP 1: FREEZE! JOKE POLICE! BASTICH: ?! SFX: THUD--!
PANEL 4 (COP 1 grabs BASTICH by his shoulders while COP 2 pokes him in the chest.) BASTICH: Hey..! What'd I do?! COP 2: Don't play dumb with us, punk! The first two panels of this strip were a blatant violation of Comic Strip Protocol!
PANEL 5 (COP 1 and COP2 continue to berate BASTICH.) COP 1: Attempting to use the "Removing Tag as Criminal Ad" joke without proper authorization is a serious offense, Mister! COP 2: Yeah. Would you went your mother to know you'd use a gag THAT tired?!
PANEL 6 (BASTICH's feet are visible through the door as the cops drag him outside.) COP 1: This earn ya thirty days of solitary, minimum! Oh, and ending the strip without a punchline. That'll get you another twenty!
CREDITS (c) 1996 Joshua Adam Hart
Commentary
This hacky joke begins another storyline that plays with the comic strip format and (eventually) leads to more time travel. I can't say I succeeded in tailoring the printed strips for the general Chico State population, but at least I never had to worry about stepping on the comedic toes of the other strips on the page.